I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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