i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
