You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
