I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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