you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Help. Why am I so naked?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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