the new term for farting is butt boxing.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
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This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
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Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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