Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize