Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
