pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
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