Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
