called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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