You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
