I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont lie about slip and slides
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Your penis caused this!
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize