She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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