I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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