Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
