Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
