its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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