Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
