Swine flu. Run for my life!
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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