Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
