Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
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We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
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You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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