She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
