Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
