mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
