Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
