I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
