her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
worst night to have a conscience
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
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