But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
