ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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