I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
