I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
