exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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