she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
