my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
