is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize