One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I'm always down for nudity.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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