I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
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