Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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