I wannas sexs uuuuu
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Randomize
