Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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