Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
