whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Last time i carry you out of a forest
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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