Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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