I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
