My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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