I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
