This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
