it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
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apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
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i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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