just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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