i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills