Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom. http://tfl.nu/w3y3
  Replies (2) Good night (1268) Bad night (524)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (403): she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that. http://tfl.nu/e222
  Replies (11) Good night (2857) Bad night (681)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (613): His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that http://tfl.nu/uqyw
  Replies (23) Good night (1210) Bad night (3798)
• Favorite

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  This bar receipt from last night makes no sense

  (573): View more from Missouri

  You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  I wish that would've worked

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (870): This bar receipt from last night makes no sense (573): You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total (870): I wish that would've worked http://tfl.nu/u8a6
  Replies (24) Good night (3342) Bad night (691)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (403): let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length. http://tfl.nu/s8ds
  Replies (41) Good night (665) Bad night (6949)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (925): 2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing. http://tfl.nu/jq9y
  Replies (74) Good night (11840) Bad night (1322)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink. http://tfl.nu/xse5
  Replies (6) Good night (4471) Bad night (763)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (601): Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate. http://tfl.nu/i871
  Replies (10) Good night (1117) Bad night (2782)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT. http://tfl.nu/04d2
  Replies (14) Good night (5183) Bad night (1571)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams. http://tfl.nu/yznu
  Replies (23) Good night (3770) Bad night (1192)
• Favorite

  (260): View more from Indiana

  ...oh my god that's like anal suicide

  (1-260): View more from Indiana

  I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (260): ...oh my god that's like anal suicide (1-260): I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak. http://tfl.nu/xgzk
  Replies (9) Good night (664) Bad night (1788)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword. http://tfl.nu/ec7y
  Replies (1) Good night (907) Bad night (408)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis http://tfl.nu/lbuu
  Replies (43) Good night (1000) Bad night (3411)
• Favorite

  (551): View more from New Jersey

  She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (551): She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot. http://tfl.nu/527s
  Replies (3) Good night (956) Bad night (317)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field http://tfl.nu/t5vl
  Replies (0) Good night (423) Bad night (170)

Randomize