So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.