She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
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Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in