Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo