I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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