just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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