I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
sarcasm needs its own font
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
