my vag is so smooth its legendary
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
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In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
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it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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