Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Randomize
