I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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