have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
