1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.