I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..