Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.