RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?