all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
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saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
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that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."