I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
and technically it was a rebound
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.