A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Just fell off a train. Bad.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I'm at about main and main street
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
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