But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Randomize
