where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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