Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
