I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Randomize
