Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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