I am in a vortex of obligation.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
