So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
