if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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