If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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