Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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